hinsh

Don't forget to bring your gun to the party!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

...well it kinda did.  Enough to stir up some trouble anyway.  I saw a dog chase another car today there was another dog inside the car and I think it may have got up to 30mph it was priceless.  and i saw kids outside again and birds and we drove around with the window halfway down.  i cannot wait until warmer weather.  I also saw a dead man today i think he was thawing out...he had no shirt on and his pants were down to his ankles his head was halfway in the door and between his legs there was snow..funny how the scrotum can shrivel up and freeze to the thigh....i think i am changing

i am back live journal .....things are good really good.  the house is coming along almost every room painted some funky color now.  1st grade is a breeze it seems.  I am finally of midnights and can function like a normal person again.  The 5th District is not so bad just domestic central.  Yesterday I saw some woman's breasts come flailing out of her very low cut v-neck t-shirt as she was yelling at her ex-friend and ex-friends mother after they had just struck her in the head with a frying pan.  This girl had blood all over her head and chest but I just couldn't stop watching these breasts they were ginormous i wanted to laugh out loud but I just sat there in disbelief i couldn't believe this was live happening in front of me that I could reach out and touch these women.  I just sat there thinking does anyone in the 5th district ever wear a bra? I still have yet to encounter a bra-wearing woman on my beat.  Then there was the sister the big huge 9 month pregnant sister who decided that in the middle of February dead of winter snow on the groung that she is going to wear the shortest brightest reddest pair of shorts she can find and again no bra and the shirt was not a maternity shirt it was however see thru. .......and the mother kept chain smoking. 

Anyways i am single again which is probably why i have time to write in here for a change.  yes me single again why am i always disappointed men disappoint me.  they never have a clue.  they nev er know that i despise roses. they laugh when i said i was a fraid of the dark.  they can't handle my job. then  i meet one that actually listens to good music and then he fails me in bed.  i meet one that is great in bed and he is a total idiot.  my standards are probably too high but so what.  if im going to spend the rest of my life with one person he better be all that.  But hey enough enough already it is fun to be single again and i am enjoying going out again and seeing live music and being me again.  i miss my me time.  living with someone you tend to lose all your me time.  so i am back and it feels good at 32 i feel like i am just getting to love me. 
 yes i am back and my new years res is live music and live journal at least once a week for both. 

time to go switching bedrooms and maybe offices......i want spring

...don't ya just LOVE when it happens. Everything is just falling into place for me. Work is good. Home is good. My relationship with Frank is civil. Logan rocks!-how did I luck out is beyond me. And Christmas might be my new favorite holiday, I cannot wait for Xmas morn. We are all excited here at the New street commune. Even people with their shitty ass comments only seem to have phased me for maybe a nights sleep where I would have dwelled on it for weeks at a time. I love life right now. I love being able to be alone with me and learn who the hell I am. I sound freakishly new age but so be it. I cannot believe I let people decide my feelings and what I should and shouldn't do for so long and was ruling my life by guilt. You only live once, and while I have made so many mistakes, you have to keep pushing forward. And my son can read! I am so excited....I am such a dork.

Ahh baseball in October. I am such a poser. This long drawn out weekend taught me that I am just fine. I am perfectly sane. Sometimes I just don't hide it as well as others. Many showed their crazy this weekend and I thank every last one of you for showing me.

More importantly I finally won a round of mini-golf! Go me. Logan won his soccer game. Go Green!

And we have a new fish named Roscoe.

All is well again and right in my world....the sun came out but I'm ready for the thunder.

There coming out of the woodwork 3 for 3 that's me dirty D! Now your messing with....a son-of-a-bitch! Hee hee hee. Yes I am mad!

....yippie. They finally figured out what was wrong with my old car that I refuse to give up on....not that I could afford o give up on it anyway, but I take some sort of pride in having a car stay with me until the bitter end....if only I worked so hard at my relationships. But then would I be constanly trying to change men into fine tuned well oiled machines...would that be so bad. Maybe not but it would be false. Anyways my car is all better no more embarrassing die-out in the middle of western ave. with my grandma in the car. No more Logan and me crossing a fingers saying mini-prayers so that some higher power will start the car back up and get us home or at least out of sight of others...who graciously try to help us by offering us jumps, and cell phone and the number of amature mechanics out there...asking me to let them here the sound. Ah I'm gonna miss you people. For the man in the maroonish-cadillac eldo you were correct it was my distributor.

Also tuition will be finally getting paid manana. And Grandpa Frank finally came to one of Logan's soccer games. All is well again. I guess what defines us is how you deal with the the two weeks of pure hell where you are made to believe that you are fucked. I don't know how I do it but I always come out just fine some cuts and bruises maybe but just fine. I cannot even put to words how in awe I am of my incredible good fortune. Thank You!

September I think has always been the most dreaded month for me for as long as I can remember. Only to be followed by a bad beginning to my October but that's when I remember by the time I get to the end of October I am back on my feet again to celebrate my favorite holiday ever. This year is no exception. Everything that could go wrong did. And for a while I didn't let it get the best of me. They were normal circumstances beyond anyones control. Then it snowballed into friends and family betraying me.  Then which sounds less hurtful to most but more hurtful to me was this......humanity sucks lately.  Everyone I had encountered this past weekend were miserable people,  just awful.  This woman was practically beating her son in my restuarant but then bitching about being too close to the smoking section because of her children.  I wanted to come up with some pie charts on how much her gas guzzling mini van probably really hurts her two sons.  Then there are just people that have to bitch about every little detail that they possibly can to you trying to make themselves relevant when it is completely clear that they just want to be heard by anyone that will listen.   I myself am trying to be better.

The month of September I have learned:

1. I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to feel lately.

2. People love to update you with tidbits from your past.

3. No one likes to hurt people one on one.

4. Many like to hurt people in a group.

5. People will try to make you believe that you are wrong before they admit that they are just not what you want.

6.  Hurt people make asses out of themselves.

7.  I need to be a better friend and I need to recognize bad friends.

8.  The older you get the less there is surprise.

9.  I've let really great people slip away.

10.  I am neurotic and need to stop caring that many of  the other moms feel that they cannot relate to me because I can and do relate to many different ages and genres of peeps.   I refuse to  get  fat, buy a min-van, and marry the fisrt man that will have me.....for I should be so lucky.  (I am not anti-marriage  I am just anti-uncertainty)

Nothing beats taking your five year old on his first ride on the Demon.....even if I did tell him at first it was the Whizzer 2. He figured it out soon enough.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

I say ha to this because you go to the quiz and they ask you all about certain animals. So if i like a horse over a pig means that i am attracted to those that are unbridled....ok....yeah this thing is right on the money. And i would be forced to break up with my longest lasting relationships that is so sad.....hee hee. kidding.

....my weekend has finally ended only to begin again Saturday @ 2p.m.
Friday I was so proud I went straight home and watched the movie "Kinsey" woah and I thought I was free-spirited. He was a freak but it was interesting anyway to see how long we have come from the missionary position.

Sat- 5a.m. up and about and crabbier than hell....I made it to the academy with 15 minutes to spare with nothing in my belly. It was 90 f-ing degrees inside and the testing took all of 5 hours---i fell asleep 3 times....luckily I had this really nice girl next to me that kept waking me up. Then I leave there and go straight to work.  Work was completely packed so i sat and actually watched, paid attention to, and knew what was going on in the cubs game.....too bad i actually pay attention for once and they lose.  After 3 hours of sitting i finally decide yeah maybe i'll work or something.  Luckily, it went by fast because I was exhausted from that damn test.  Here was a question..."Sometime I feel like ending it all."  your answers were.  F for false ST for slightly true MT moderately true or VT very true.  Every fifth question was like this in between my naps I kept giggling.  Anyways, after work I went to a bar with co-workers and was completely utterly bored but one of my co-workers had the shittiest of nights.......so one feels obligated.  My friends kepts calling as they were having a party in Lisa's backyard and wanted my presence.  So. I sat there because of moral high ground but wanting to see my friends.  I patiently solemly waited for the bar to close so I could make my way to Lisa's.  I entered the party at 2a.m.....everyone was well enebriated......I left the party at 6 a.m. and I was well enebriated.  I slept in all my clothes that morning and one shoe on.

 Sunday- I woke up and went right into work praying it would be over soon.  It wasn't too bad but it did hurt.  Sunday people are a whole different breed of people.  They usually do not go out to restuarants very often so they have no etiqutte and it is usually a special occasion so they are extremely high strung about the event that they are hosting not at their homes' like normal people but in a packed resturant.......where they feel comfortable enough to make it their living rooms complete with children sprawled out all over the floors and aunt maye in her huge gigantic rascal 3000 to block anyone from getting around the table.  And Sunday people are the most demanding people you will ever meet.  I play games though to get through it.  I know all the Star Wars hype going around now
is almost becoming cliche but for years I feel that I have used my Jedi to get customers to order appropriately and to, well, behave!  There are nice people that come in but mostly strange people I ask everyone questions all the time.....where did you and your husband meet?  how did you know he was the one?  what do you do?  do you like your job?  are you afraid of the dark?  and they in turn ask about my life......are you old enough to serve liquor?  are you married?  do ever plan on having children?  are you writing a book?  where did you graduated?  do you know you like meg ryan?....i of  course lie in my responses to all of their ridiculous questions.  They may lie to me to but I can usually tell.  Anyways not a bad Sunday.  My favorite answer to one of my questions was this..........
...........I was waiting on this couple that seemed to be still in love after all the years.  I asked the woman how did she know that her husband was the one.  She told me that they had been dating for a while and that it was coming to a point where they should kick it up a notch or break-up.  So they went on a camping trip together and the weekend was just ok nothing earth shattering had happend to help her along with her decision.  On the way home they had stopped off at a rest area with a pool ( i know i thought it was weird but i guess back in the day they had pools at rest areas.)   Anyways,her husband went to take a dip in the pool to rejuvenate and she was sitting on a bench contemplating it all....true love.......marriage.......the boy that lived three houses away from her.....her own parents in their somewhat happy marriage........and she looked over at her husband and he was siting on the ledge of the pool just wading his legs throught the water looking like a complete dope.....she looked away and thought more about finishing college.....and then she heard an ambulance......she looked back at the pool and her husband was gone and she knew he was unable to swim.....she frantically ran over to the pool and it had been someone else--he was standing there toweling himself off.  She knew then that she could not live without this man.  They have been together ever since. 

Monday-  was supposed to be  a day of rest I made Logan's breakfast and rushed him off to school.  Came home to read and Annie called and we went to get pedicures and manicures.  They were so great my nails and toes are bright orange because I am a freak.  Then we had nonni's 80th.  Then I went to see Star Wars which I loved.  F U bad reviews......yes the dialogue was ridic in some places but it was so good.  General Grievous rocks! 
Tuesday--Brookfield Zoo with 4 kids under the age of 5 ......i don't even need to mention how exhausting yesterday was. 
Wednesday- Read papers and mags waitng for damienone to post MQW and listened to WOXY. 

And yay he posted it!!!!!!!

....and so i trick myself, just like everybody else.

First off Happy Birthday Annie! Cannot wait to eat din din with you manana.

Now I woke up this morning really late it was so nice....made a big breakfast....made a cup of tea and sat down to my computer only to find 7 emails and 2 comments about my band/songtitles/questionairre thingy. I cannot believe how (with a few excedptions of some people that don't really know me all that well) most people think I am black and white --cut and dry. Or more hysterically how most of them thought my answers were directly associated with themselves. This was the best mass email post ever! Thank you Kristen, thank you Jesus, thank you Mel!

Heaven Heaven is a place ---too bad-- where nothing nothing ever happens---but boy you really wish it did---oh heaven heaven is a place where nothing
nothing ever happens..........does that not perfectly describe a crush?

Now if I should email these people back----gently letting them down while informing them that I indeed do not have crushes on them now matter how attractive they might be. People crack my shit up. Again this was way too much. I think I will repost another one.

Band song titles and yourself
Body: This is a good one... (from Kristen)
Body: Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band. Copy and Repost! (I did two, cuz it was fun)

My artist choice: Wilco

Are you male or female: "Casino Queen"

Describe yourself: " I'm always in Love"

How do some people feel about you: "She's a Jar"

How do you feel about yourself: "I'm a Wheel"

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: "Pot Kettle Black"

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/crush: "I am Trying to Break Your Heart"

Describe where you want to be: "Poor Places"

Describe what you want to be: "Hummingbird"

Describe how you live: "Wishful Thinking"

Describe how you love: "Reservations"

Share a few words of wisdom: "True Love Will Find You in the End"

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My artist choice: Talking Heads

Are you male or female: "Girlfriend is Better"

Describe yourself: "And She Was"

How do some people feel about you: "Crosseyed and Painless"

How do you feel about yourself: "Lifetime Piling Up"

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: "Gangster of Love"

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/crush: "Heaven"

Describe where you want to be: "The Big Country"

Describe what you want to be: "Air"

Describe how you live: "I Want to Live"

Describe how you love: "Making Flippy Floppy"

Share a few words of wisdom: "I Wish You Wouldn't Say That"

Your drastic weather changes have made me susceptible to the common cold once again. Every time I try to stand up I feel like I am going to pass out. Luckily, there is a piece of furniture every 10ft. or so in my house. I have 4 people to buy bday presents for, two on Sat and two on Sun. It is too late to internet shop and I am too weak to make, create, or sew anything. Annie if you are reading this I am sorry to let you down, but I will be there for your birthday dinner. I am still going to try and make the best mix tape ever today. Sunday is going to be so much fun, but how the hell are we fitting 50 people in here I have no idea. Please, divine one, make it a nice warm day! I can't wait til Logan gets his baby Fender. When we move I am so buying a piano so that he might pick it up and I can drink wine late at night and compose really bad jilted daughter songs. Sometimes I cannot wait to be really old so I can say or do pretty much anything I want. Not like I don't do it already but later on it will be cute or funny for me to make a ridiculous ass of myself. Alright, I can see out of both eyes now so I better take advantage of this while it lasts.

Happy Thunderstorm Chicago

Today was Karen's Grandpa's funeral....I did ok until Father Marty got to his homily and then I weeped like he was my own Grandfather.....He told this story about having dinner the night before with fellow priests and they were speaking of the funerals they had to tend to the following day and one of the other priests had told F. Marty that he had seen Mr. Bartoli(Karen's Gpa) in the hospital just two days before he had passed. He had said that it was apparent that he was weak and dying. The priest asked Grandpa how he had felt about this ---(which i thought to myself wow what f-ing balls--how do you think he feels who wants to die dumbass)  but thankfully Grandpa has way more class than I and said to the other priest. "I have lived a good life.......if it's my time then it's my time." Anyways, I only hope I can die with the same heart he seemed like he had no real regrets, no enemies, and he lived his life and cherished his family.

well shit yesterday i wanted to grow up and today i am deep as hell.  maybe what i need is a psychiatrist not a conscience.

Last night I went to see Wilco with an ex of mine and while trying to remain in good standings with each other I have to be honest--I was dreading it all day long. We approached the Vic and there was the longest line down around the building which is typical but I had to pee. We went to a bar down the street relieved myself and had some drinks there. We talked of our goals and I talked about how I am hopelessly addicted to myspace and now this. It wasn't awkward at all very comforting. We get into the show and it was packed and I felt like he wasn't going to have a good time but then they went on and the sound was amazing at the Vic last night plus they were filming so I think they paid special attention to sound. Anyways I know many people aren't huge Wilco fans like I am and it is mainly because of all the airplay they get is their poppy songs and their following is made up of people my friends and myself would never hang out so how can all of us enjoy Wilco because they are that damn good. It was so beautiful. My now friend that was with me was amazed and is now a fellow wilco geek I am hoping. And then we went out to the lobby to smoke and this is where my life gets interesting as usual---my life is filled with random moments that are so strange and unexplainable that i am prepared at all times for any situation because most of the time it has already happened to me--so we are smoking and i look over and see Lara Kill of all the people in the world....a girl who is more like me than anyone in the world which is probably the reason why we have had so many falling outs. We hugged and hugged and danced and welled up a bit. W e promised we would get back connected and she is looking for me a place to live. Wilco rocked, not one but 2 really great friendships were mended...I had one of the best nights ever. Very comparable to New Year's Eve Guided by Voices show. It is incredible being high on your own happiness. I sound like such a freak but everyone must have this at some point in their lives where they know they wrecked something and then they fixed it. Mending relationships are much harder than fixing saabs but I did it. Yay me!
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Thank You Andy Cline and Lara Kill!